Bankotsu, the Private Eye
by Shera-girl
Summary: Bankotsu has a job as a private detective. When he gets a case dealing with identity theft he'll need all his friends to solve it. Has slight romantic hints so enjoy.This my first fic and didn't have it beta read so just grin and bare the spelling mistake


Kagome X Inuyasha, Kikyo X Suikotsu Alternate universe (I think)

Bankotsu the Private Eye

It was a dark and stormy night, not fit for man or beast…..

"Hey! That beginning is too cliché," Bankotsu said.

"Well this is how I'm starting my story. I have to describe the setting to the readers!"

"Well, just tell them that it was raining!"

"Whose the supreme writer?"

"I'm the leader of the Shaintai! Why do I have to listen to you?"

"Because, if you don't," I said grinning, "I'll remove all the fun scenes with Jakotsu."

Nosebleed "oh okay"  
"As I WAS saying…"

The sky was black and heavy rains had set in. Bankotsu was resting easily in his chair; the man even had his feet resting on top of his desk.  
Business had been slow. So slow that there wasn't even enough cash left to get a good drink. He looked over at his pal, Banyu.

"Banyu, I'm bored. When was the last time we had a client?"

Of course Banyu didn't answer, because he was an inaddment object and they don't talk no matter how much we would like them to, but this case Banyu does talk to Bankotsu because they are friends.

Anyway, Bankotsu continued talking to himself, "Maybe a month or so. Hmm? What's that? What do you mean I'm a bad detective? Hey I don't see 'The Great Detective Banyu' on our door do you?" Banyu still said nothing in reply.

Bankotsu stood up, "Well, I'm going to show you how great I am!" After that moment of pure determination he sat down again, "That is, after we get a case. Then I'll show you!"

As if by magic there was a knock at the door.

Jumping to his feet, Bankotsu threw on his trench coat and his Dick Tracy hat right before the door opened.

A flash of lightning filled the room as a woman slowly walked in the room. She looked like she was use to the finer end of life but her clothes had been soaked from the rain. She looked at him with a distant gaze on her eyes as she asked, "Are you him?"

"Am I who?"

"The private detective?"

"Oh, yeah that would be me"  
"Good, my name's Kikyo. I have a job for you."

"Oh well what can I do for you?"

"My husband, Suikotsu, and myself, we are afraid that there are people impersonating us. I want you to find out who and why."

"I see, but you see these types of cases are delicate and have to be handled with care-"

She placed a huge bag of gold coins on his desk, "Half now, half later, are you up for it?"

"Yea, alright, sounds like fun."

Kikyo turned to leave. "Wait how will I find you?" Bankotsu asked.

Saturday night, my husband and I are opening a new orphanage in the city. Come and meet me there. Good bye Mr. Detective."

After her footsteps faded Bankotsu said to Banyu, "What a creepy woman don't cha think? Well now we have a case, but the better news is now we can get sake!"

Scene change

The Bone Eater's café was Bankotsu's favourite bar and there was always someone with information on anything he might need to know.

He couldn't remember the last time he had been there but he was glad to be back.

Before he could reach the bar an arm slinked around his waist and he was face to face with his old friend Jakotsu.

"It's been a long time, Bankotsu!"

"Yeah, it sure has!" he started laughing and Jakotsu joined him until he yelled, "So, WHERE have you been all this time?"

"Uh,"

"Ginkotsu won't hire waiters anymore, something about me scaring them away, now there are nothing but these stupid girls working here. I'd quit but there's always the chance of a good-looking guy might just stop in. Just last week there was this guy in here," Jakotsu continued to babble on about the new customers as Bankotsu found a table for him and Banyu to sit at.

The door swung open again and Jakotsu became silent as a young man with silver hair walked in.

"Oh, there he is! The guy I was talking about!" Jakotsu cooed. The boy's ears twitched as he talked to one of the waitresses. She nodded her head and went into the kitchen. After a little while another girl came out of the kitchen and left with the guy.  
"Oh, if only to have one feel of those ears! It's too bad that tramp fallows him around otherwise he would have been mine a long time ago!"

Bankotsu wasn't really listening to Jakotsu, his attention was on the girl, "Jakotsu, tell me about that girl."

"What?" Jakotsu said outraged, "When did you start liking stupid women?"

"Calm down, it's for a case."

"You are the sexiest man alive when you play detective you know."

Bankotsu blushed, "The girl Jakotsu."

"Oh well, I can't say much. I don't really have time to waste on them but I guess that would be Kagome that left," there was a tap on Jakotsu's shoulder. The other waitress was tapping him, "Jakotsu, these are my tables."

"Sango, this is an honoured guest! He deserves only the BEST waiter to serve him."

Bankotsu said, "I would like a sake," but he was ignored by both of them.

Bankotsu took Banyu and walked over to the bar. Renkotsu was wiping down the counter.

"Hey stranger. I've got the usual right here for you."

"Ah, thank you!" Bankotsu took the sake from Renkotsu's hand and sipped it greedily, "Ah, that hit's the spot. So tell me, how's business been?"

"Well it's been steady but things have slowed down since our great detective has gone missing."

"You flatter me too much. What's with all the new faces though?"

"Ginkotsu's the boss," he shrugged, "I just do as I'm told. We have this new cook, Mirroku, then this busboy, Shippo, and these two waitresses, Kagome and Sango, as you can see, Jakotsu isn't happy about it."

"Uh huh," Bankotsu said as Renkotsu poured him another drink.

"Ginkotsu had to fire Kykotsu because he'd eat orders before they got to the customers. Just wasn't good for business."

Just then the door swung open again and a short man with three ladies came in and took a table more in the back.

"Who's that?" Bankotsu asked Renkotsu.  
"You don't recognize Mukotsu?"

"Are you serious? But what about his problem with women?"

"He has this method now. He picks the dumbest girls around and he never shows them his face until he can't stand them anymore. I guess it give him a mysterious appeal."

Bankotsu watched as Mukotsu tickled one of them under the chin. Sango had gone over to take their orders but Jakotsu decided that he was better off sitting next to Banyu at the bar.

"Hey, aren't you supposed to be working?" Renkotsu said to Jakotsu.

"On break, so like I was saying, that Inuyasha is soooo handsome don't cha think?"

Sango went into the kitchen and Jakotsu gave her an evil look as she went inside. As soon as she was out of sight Jakotsu muttered, "Stupid women."

There were some murmuring sounds and then a smack sound came from the kitchen as a furious Sango stormed out.

"I don't care how good his cooking is!" Sango screamed at Renkotsu.

"We would send Jakotsu in but-" the bartended started to say but Jakotsu cut him off.

"Hey it's not my fault we got stuck in the meat locker all night!"

Bankotsu started to laugh. He had indeed missed his friends.

Scene change

It was nearly dawn when Bankotsu left the bar. It wasn't until he was stumbling his way back home that he realized why he had gone to the bar in the first place. Well he would just have to go back tomorrow and not get so drunk. He grinned to himself.

"Hmm, Saturday…" he thought to himself, "that means I have three days to track down Kikyo's and Suikotsu's copy cats. Ha piece of ca-" he had stumbled off the sidewalk but started to regain balance, "cake," he finished.

Scene change

Bankotsu finally lifted the blankets off his head around noon. He had crawled into bed just as the sun was rising and now he had a massive headache. Grumbling he looked for the aspirin as he talked with Banyu, "Hey, how is it that you had as much sake as I did yet I feel like crap?"

Banyu silently answered him, "What do you mean I also look like it?"

There was a knock at the door.

Bankotsu wandered over to the door and opened it. There stood a quiet looking man. Bankotsu just stared at him.

"Are you the private eye?"

"Yeah that would be me."

"You met my wife Kikyo?"

"Oh, so you're Suikotsu?"

"Yes that would be me. I'm sorry if my wife troubled you. She's paranoid you see. Thinks there are stalkers about."

"Women can be paranoid."

"Well I just came over to tell you that we won't be needing your services after all."

"Come again?"

"Whatever my wife has already paid you with you may keep. I'm only requesting that you forget about this whole ordeal."

"Oh, well if you're sure…"

"Goodbye Mr. Detective." Then he just left.

Bankotsu continued his rampage though the medicine cabinet. When he found a bottle he wanted he couldn't get the cover off.

"Stupid safety caps. Oh, Banyuuu," he took Banyu's razor edge and cut the entire top off.

When the medicine finally started to clear all the banging in his head, Bankotsu started to consider what Suiskotsu had said to him.

"He wants me off the case but why? What's a virtuous doctor like him got to hide? Well there's no way I'm forgetting this case, there's still another bag of gold with my name on it!"

Later in the evening, Bankotsu made his way to Bone Eater's. Something told him that he had to talk to that Kagome girl.

As he was walking up the street he bumped into Mukotsu. Bankotsu looked around and noticed he was alone, "So, where are those girls from last night?

"I had to let them go," he muttered.

"Oh, I see." They walked in silence.

"Mukotsu, have you noticed that girl that works at Bone Eater's?"

"Oh yes! Who could miss a beauty like that? It's only too bad that she's too smart to be trusted."

"Huh? What do you mean by that?"

"She saw right though my mask trick. Even the fumes that I use have no effect on her," he shook his plump head, "To make matters worse she never comes or goes to the restaurant by herself. That dog boy is always with her."

"That could be a problem," Bankotsu said. It would be hard to interrogate her is she has a bodyguard with her all the time.

He fallowed Mukotsu into the bar and even sat at the same table as he did. Jakotsu came over and handed them menus.

"What's with you?" Mukotsu asked him.

"Oh the cook quit because that woman was going to file sexual harassment on him sigh so I have to spend all day with these two."

Bankotsu looked at the two women. Sango was humming to herself as she cleared off a table and behind the counter was Kagome washing dishes. Renkotsu was filling up a cup for a man sitting at the counter. From what Bankotsu saw, Kagome was doing her best to ignore the man. Bankotsu decided to investigate. At the same time Jakotsu decide that he was on break as he started a conversation with Mukotsu.

Bankotsu took his cup and sat at the bar. He bent his head over his glass so they wouldn't see his face.

"Kouga, just listen to me. Someone is after me and as of the moment I have to keep a low profile."

"So you got a job? C'mon Kagome, you'd have better protection if you stayed with my family."

"I appreciate your concern but Inuyasha is looking after me."

"For how long? That mutt can't possibly-"

"I won't have you speaking of Inuyasha that way! This discussion is over so please leave."

"Naw, I think I wait for the mutt to arrive."

Kagome disappeared behind the kitchen door. Kouga just leaned back in his chair and ordered another round.

"Someone is after the girl," Bankotsu thought, "Kikyo thought there was someone stalking her, but her husband said she was only being paranoid. Dammit! I want the rest of that cash. There has to be more to this."

He went back to the booth. Mukotsu and Jakotsu were in deep conversation over the many uses for whipped cream as he sat down. There were several gasps from Mukotsu as he asked, "Can you really do THAT? Over and over again.

Bankotsu looked at Banyu and it asked exactly what he was thinking, "What now?"

I'm supposed to tell Kikyo whose stalking her by Saturday. Maybe I should write her a letter, oh wait I can't write. Yeah I'll write a letter to Kikyo and then Ginkotsu will have Jakotsu working the cash register.

He got up to leave when he walked right into Inuyasha himself.

"Oh it's you!"

"You got a problem with me?" Inuyasha asked.

"Naw, just a few questions."

"Keh, well make it quick."

"What is your relation with the girl?"

"What?"

"Just answer the question."

"We're relatives."

"Yeah right, so who's stalking her?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"They must have worked on their story in case someone like me came along," Bankotsu thought to himself.

"Inuyasha, what's going on?" Kagome asked from behind Bankotsu, "I'm sorry, sir, I told him to stay away from the customers."

"Oh it's no big deal," Bankotsu said as he watched them go. He waited a few minutes before he started to fallow them.

He saw them turn a corner before they vanished from view. Hesitantly he fallowed them using the shadows to the best of his advantage.

With Banyu at his side he felt ready for anything, well almost anything. They disappeared into the woods and Bankotsu discovered that it was the perfect cover. He listened to every sound that came to his ears but he mostly used his instinct and eventually caught up with them. He jumped behind a bush to conceal himself.

They whispered between themselves so low that he couldn't get anything out of the conversation. Then Kagome hugged Inuyasha and then jumped into the well that had been behind her.

Inuyasha then ran in the other direction. As soon as he was gone Bankotsu ran to the well and looked in it. The girl was gone.

"Yes, Banyu, the girl is gone," he said irritably.

Scene change

Back at Bankotsu's office he stared moodily at the wall. "Tomorrow!" he said furiously to Banyu, "I have to figure out what's going on by tomorrow!"

He flumped back onto his couch. "What to do? Maybe Suiskotsu was right and Kikyo is only being paranoid. Sigh I'm not getting paid am I?"

Just then Banyu slid down and sliced an apple in half.

"Banyu, I promise I have enough fiber in my diet. You don't have to cut food up for me to eat." Then a thought hit Bankotsu, "Banyu, where did I put my suit? I have an orphanage to see!"

Scene change

The next day was great for an opening a new orphanage for the children without parents. It was Suiskotsu's life work and Kikyo had helped since the day that they had first met. It wasn't long after that he proposed to her.

The weather wasn't on Bankotsu's mind though. He was thinking about Kikyo and Kagome, two sides of the same coin in their own way.

His mind worked furiously as he ran toward the city. His mind was clicking and he was excited to finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.

He arrived just as they were cutting the red ribbon and opening the building for the first time. Kids ran in yelling and laughing as they did so. Bankotsu grabbed Kikyo's arm right before she went in.

"Your…husband…isn't…. what he…seems," he panted as he started to speak.

"Hmm? What do you mean?"

"There's two of him!" he said finally catching his breath.

"Oh I know that!" Bankotsu looked shocked, "Oh, c'mon! His blood thirsty side is sooo much better in bed," and the she laughed and walked away.

So ended the case of the Kikyo Stalker. Later that evening Bankotsu explained to Banyu, "Well, it was simple after all. Kikyo wanted attention from her husband so she made him think there was after her. He must have thought that Kagome was her. That's why Kagome was all stressed out. Hmm I guess everything was fine after all."

He looked at Banyu, "One thing still bother's me." Banyu looked at him intently, "I never did get paid," and then Banyu fell over anime style.

THE END . 


End file.
